She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
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Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
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I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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