i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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