Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
