I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize