We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just want nice things and good sex
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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