I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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