Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You can't special order awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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