yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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