trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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