it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
