I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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