Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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