the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
