I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
