Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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