Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
