Define "chronic" masturbator.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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