There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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