It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
