plz talk dirty to me
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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