I accidentally had phone sex last night
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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