I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize