I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
