OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
