I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
