dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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