We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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