eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
only if we run a train.
done.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
