My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize