But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
pray to the hookup gods
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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