I just cut my nipple shaving
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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