dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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