small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
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I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize