He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
