Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
