Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
