he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
