I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
