Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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