Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
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Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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