what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
