Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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