I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
People in love make me want to vomit
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
