i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
