They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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