Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
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I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
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Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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