Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
