wanna go halves on a baby?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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