May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.â€
Randomize
