i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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