The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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