Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
