The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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