I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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