Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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