I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
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