its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
