is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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