can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
