i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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