I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The Olympian is in my bed
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
