the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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