Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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