I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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