he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
