its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
